Aries Rising, Venus in Cancer

I have an Aries Rising Sign. That is the only fire in my entire natal chart. The rest is air (Gemini), earth (Virgo) or water (one planet each in all three water signs).

Among other things, your Rising Sign describes your public image. I have a long history of being seen as bad tempered and fighty. This is absolutely not intentional.

In fact, I have gone to a lot of trouble to try to shut down the patterns of interaction that wind up making me look like such a fighty asshole. I can't control everything other people do, but I can be aware they are likely to do X and try to account for that and yadda.

Another expression of Aries Rising is to be inspiring instead of being fighty. So, I try to shoot for that instead.

Unfortunately, that often gets me accused of being an egomaniacal, narcissistic jerk. My best guess is that women are simply not allowed to know they are competent at anything. We are all supposed to be hopeless, helpless little waifs in need of rescue. I should no…

Mercury Retrogrades into Aries

From Austin Coppock: On April 20th, Mercury’s retrograde takes it back into Aries. Okay, I had way the fuck too much caffeine this morning when I got a large hot mocha with a shot of espresso from Starbuck's. This basically has me talking angrily a lot. That totally fits with Mercury retrograding back into Aries.

I am a mess and failing to do paid piece work from a service I work for sometimes. I am trying like hell to use this excess of "energy" constructively and not shoot myself in the foot. So far, it doesn't feel all that constructive.

In Good News, according to Astrology Zone (Aries, my Rising Sign): Your expenses will calm down after Mars leaves Taurus on April 21. Given the state of my finances at the moment, my expenses will "calm down" because I will be broke and starving. Having no money at all will prevent me from spending money.

Days like today make me wonder if moving to Nevada (where prostitution is legal) and becoming a sex worke…

Pluto Stations Retrograde

According to Austin Coppock(Pluto) stations retrograde on April 19th at 19’54” Capricorn That is today and I am having a weird ass day. I feel like shit and failing to do paid freelance work, in spite of how dire my short term finances look. I am on track to be broke on Friday and probably fasting or lightly rationed that day, then Saturday I should get enough funds to get me through a few more days. I don't know how I will eat next week.

On the up side, I did this blog post on my main personal blog about a project I am trying to develop. I also have had a bunch of join requests in the last 48 hours for a group I run. I have never before been able to figure out how to successfully promote things like that. I would start groups and maybe have an initial following due to limited popularity on some email list. These groups would start with like 20 or so members and never really grow.

I also seem to have found a corner of the internet where my dark sense of humor is appreciated…

Wishful Thinking

From Astrology Zone's March 2017 Aries Horoscope: The April 26 new moon will be your best, most favorable point in 2017 for instituting any number of ways to increase your income Yeah, I wish. I am so fucking tired of being so fucking poor.

I am running a fever and not getting any paid work done -- story of my life, it seems -- and trying to not go postal, basically. This brings me back to Astrology Zone, a site I criticize bitterly for being bad astrology, but, hey, it dishes out what most people want from astrology: Hope.

It's what I seem to most want at times, though it aggravates me when I do this. On the other hand, it is probably mentally and emotionally healthier than many of my other options and bad habits on days when I am too sick to get my act together to do paid writing.

The thing is, I actually am accomplishing a lot, in the grand scheme of things. I am getting well when the entire world says it cannot be done.

So, my life is not nearly as hopeless as that…

Mercury Traverses the Jupiter-Uranus-Pluto T-Square

From Austin Coppock: Mercury squares Pluto on the 23rd, opposes Jupiter on the 24th, and conjoins Uranus on the 26th...

In the midst of Mercury’s complicated negotiation of the Jupiter-Uranus-Pluto T-square... I am posting this as a follow up to my random bitch session last Monday. The short version is that I am exhausted and not working today because in just three days (Tuesday-Thursday), I did a record amount of freelance work. This means I have money today and will have some kind of paycheck this coming week as well.

I hope to recover and do more work, but that is just not happening today. I am so extremely tired.

So, I guess a few things I want to say here are:

A) My natal chart has substantial stuff in both Gemini and Virgo. These are both ruled by Mercury. Transits of Mercury seem to impact my life particularly hard.

B) T-Squares tend to have a bad reputation. They tend to be stressful and dramatic. There is a long history of tradition of framing this in very negative t…

Random Bitch Session

I fucking hate my life. I have a headache and my eyes feel like they will pop out of my head and I am running out of money and failing to work.In the grand scheme of things, I am nearly well. Yet, I continue to have periods where I am too sick to work and money continues to be a huge challenge. I don't how the hell I am going to make it to the end of the month. I am about $400 or so short and mostly failing to work. My student loan should be paid off this summer. That not only should free up some cash flow, it cuts one of my ties go my ex husband.I am not only too sick to work, I am too sick to do the blogging I want to do. I want to write an interesting piece about that on some other blog, but I am failing to do that even.The student loan is my student loan and the divorce decree makes it my responsibility, but the loan itself is actually in my ex's name because I was a homemaker. So, the bank won't even talk to me since my name is not on the loan. Long story short: My ex…

Effin Eclipse

There is a solar eclipse arriving in 1 day, 13 hours, some odd minutes as I begin to type. If I recall correctly off the top of my head while in something of a state, this eclipse is at about 8 degrees Pisces.

I have zero dollars and zero cents in my bank account and some change in my wallet. My son has $2.43 in his bank. I have a little more money coming, probably tomorrow, enough to keep us fed for another day-ish. And then I could potentially starve until the 2nd or 3rd of March.

I walked about 40 minutes or so each way to the Pay Day Loan place this morning. I already owe them money. They won't give me a second loan.

I have a tax refund coming, enough to keep me fed this coming week if it gets here in time. It has not yet arrived.

The odds seem incredibly poor that I will get it on a Saturday. So, it looks to me like the best case scenario is we have a sucky three days and I get money on Monday.

I am looking into possibly setting up a Patreon account this weekend for my…