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Showing posts from May, 2016

There is No Such Thing As Negative Four Degrees of Gemini

You know my life is in the toilet and I am in a bad damn mood if I am resorting to reading my damn horoscope. It tells you I am having one of those days where I am too brain damaged to accomplish anything useful and I am feeling desperate and grasping at straws for hope that the rest of the month will somehow work out okay, even though I cannot fucking see it at the moment.So, I go to Susan Miller's Astrology Zone, which is the only astrology site I read regularly because it actually has some value. Ingrate that I am, I am going to bitch about it anyway. (Sorry, Susan. You no doubt deserve better.)I am a Gemini. Today is May 17th. So, since I am looking for hope, I am scrolling through the Gemini May forecast looking for the first date listed that is later than today. I don't give a fuck about the earlier part of the month. It's in the past. It doesn't fucking matter!And the first date past today that I notice with my incredibly shitty eyesight (so, maybe there is anot…

Oh, Sun Sign Astrology, How I Hate Thee

Oh, Sun sign astrology, how I hate thee. Let me count the ways. First, you are so incredibly dumb. I don't mean you cannot speak. Jeez, I wish you would shut up. No, I mean, wow, are you stupid.How can you break down the 7 billion people on the planet into 12 categories and try to predict anything at all based on that: "You will meet a tall, dark stranger today. In fact, this could be love. You could wind up married to them."By "You," you mean approximately one twelfth of the human race. You mean any one of hundreds of millions of people born during a particular month long period during the year that corresponds to the Sun sign in question.Come on. Be serious. Some of these people are three years old. Second, wow, you sure drag the name of real astrology through the mud. I get that this is intended to be astrology for the masses. It is intended to make this arcane art more accessible. But it is like turning good quality beer into piss water. Third, can you say …