Effin Eclipse

There is a solar eclipse arriving in 1 day, 13 hours, some odd minutes as I begin to type. If I recall correctly off the top of my head while in something of a state, this eclipse is at about 8 degrees Pisces.

I have zero dollars and zero cents in my bank account and some change in my wallet. My son has $2.43 in his bank. I have a little more money coming, probably tomorrow, enough to keep us fed for another day-ish. And then I could potentially starve until the 2nd or 3rd of March.

I walked about 40 minutes or so each way to the Pay Day Loan place this morning. I already owe them money. They won't give me a second loan.

I have a tax refund coming, enough to keep me fed this coming week if it gets here in time. It has not yet arrived.

The odds seem incredibly poor that I will get it on a Saturday. So, it looks to me like the best case scenario is we have a sucky three days and I get money on Monday.

I am looking into possibly setting up a Patreon account this weekend for my umpteen blogs. Maybe I am ready for that.

I have spent the whole day cussing at "god." I am not religious, but "whatever intelligence there is behind the workings of the universe" is a big mouthful. So, basically, god is shorthand for that when I say it.

I am a pretty extremely philosophical person. If I weren't, I would not have made it this far. But I am pretty grumpy at pulling miracles out my ass on a routine basis and shitty things like this continuing to happen to me.

You know, this is part of why I don't want to be some sort of religious icon or some shit. Working for god results in people being crucified, burned at the stake, etc. No fucking thank you, asshole.

So, I need to find a practical path forward. Because I am seriously not willing to pray to god for salvation and I am also seriously NOT willing to be some man's bitch to "save" my sorry ass from poverty.

For one thing, I am clear that I would still be poor, just, like, in style. (Because him having money and me living with him is not remotely the same as me having money of my own.)

But, JFC, this is messed up. I am getting myself well when doctors say it cannot be done. You would think whatever asshole is in charge of this shithole of a universe would lend me some support, pat me on the head, yadda.

AND I blog about it to help other people for FREE in spite of how fucking poor I am -- because that is how strongly I feel that the current commercial medical model is borked to hell and back.

I'm a nice person, damn it.

So, I don't know. The river is still insanely swollen. Maybe I will yet go throw myself in it. But probably not until, like Sunday or Monday.

Thanks for listening to me bitch!

(THANKS FOR LISTENING TO ME BITCH!) < -- echo, because no one is fucking listening.

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