Wishful Thinking

From Astrology Zone's March 2017 Aries Horoscope:

The April 26 new moon will be your best, most favorable point in 2017 for instituting any number of ways to increase your income
Yeah, I wish. I am so fucking tired of being so fucking poor.

I am running a fever and not getting any paid work done -- story of my life, it seems -- and trying to not go postal, basically. This brings me back to Astrology Zone, a site I criticize bitterly for being bad astrology, but, hey, it dishes out what most people want from astrology: Hope.

It's what I seem to most want at times, though it aggravates me when I do this. On the other hand, it is probably mentally and emotionally healthier than many of my other options and bad habits on days when I am too sick to get my act together to do paid writing.

The thing is, I actually am accomplishing a lot, in the grand scheme of things. I am getting well when the entire world says it cannot be done.

So, my life is not nearly as hopeless as that of many people. Some people in the world have problems they simply have no real hope of solving.

I have spent time in online forums where this was the norm. In fact, that describes the forums for people with my medical condition.

In one CF list I joined, the norm when I joined it was to say "My child needs X surgery. Please pray for us."

People ask for prayers when they don't believe human intervention has any hope of accomplishing anything constructive. It is the last defense against hopelessness that people have when they basically feel completely helpless.

This is, no doubt, why religion has been called "The opiate of the masses." For many people, it is a sort of feel-good drug to turn to in during times of great difficulty.

I think for most people, astrology is basically in that same wheelhouse. But it makes me crazy because I generally do not operate that way.

By the time I left that list, the norm had become to say something more like "My child needs X surgery. Do you have firsthand experience with this surgery? Can you give me any tips for how to get through it? What can I expect? What are provisos and best practices? Do you know of any studies related to it?"

That is more how I typically operate. I left because it was no longer productive for me to try to participate. I get hated on a lot for being very can-do. I don't understand it. You would think people would like me for helping them, but that is often not the case. I get hated on a lot for, I don't know -- stealing the show?

Apparently, no one on the planet can imagine that anyone else would do something merely to be helpful. Apparently, no one can imagine anyone being nice for the sake of niceness.

It boggles my mind.

So, here I sit, in my little corner of the internet, talking to myself and trying to not lose my marbles. And I turn to astrology for basically the same reason others so often do: To try to offer me some hope in the face of what seems so hopeless.

But it makes me mad, because it should not be this way. To me, this is not unsolvable. It is just human apathy and assholery.

But, you know, you can't force other people to change. Thus, my own source of hopelessness and cussing at the sky on a regular basis.

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