Showing posts from June, 2017

Jupiter in Second House -- Event Chart

So I started a SUPER SECRET new project at 11:13 a.m. on 06/23/17 Pacific Daylight Time. Just now, I whipped up a free event chart for it on some website and Jupiter is in the Second House of earned income.

My hunch was this would generally be a good omen, but I googled anyway. I found this: With Jupiter in 2nd house, you are someone born with a silver spoon. So, obviously, if I can just figure out how to develop the project, I shall get rich!!!! Duh!!!

Naturally, my SUPER SECRET project has basically languished ever since. But I am happy to see it has good omens, since my life remains in the toilet where it has been low these many years.

Now, I have an all new thing to fantasize about, instead of my usual stupid, pointless, never works escapist fantasies. I just need to figure out how to actually work on the damn thing.

NO FUCKING CLUE where to start.

Getting rich: Hard.
Escapist fantasies: Less than a dime a dozen.

Muddy Waters

So, today is the day of that that conjunction I wrote about yesterday. Austin Coppock says the following about it: While Mercury’s conjunction with the Sun on the 21st serves to clean the waters of the mind, the conjunction with Mars on the 28th points toward all the pollutants ready to dirty them again. I started the day with $7.61 in resources and some snacks. We used part of that money to buy three 2-liter diet cokes and we did snacks and drinks.

In the evening, with the last $1.89 in available credit on my credit card, my oldest son went to get us one more 2-liter soda. Unfortunately, he is terrible with numbers and ended up spending $1.91.

So, I am concerned that the monies I am expecting on Saturday will be too late and I will end up with an overdraft charge due to my son spending 2 cents too much.

I told him don't worry about it. With my student loan paid off, I should be getting more alimony than usual on Saturday and I also have what is, for me, a decent paycheck…

Mercury Conjunct Mars

According to Austin Coppock: Mercury and Mars make their way to a conjunction in the middle of Cancer on the 28th, opposite Pluto and square Jupiter. Well, I have about $8 as I begin writing this, and that will need to cover snacks and drinks for tonight. I am basically broke starting tomorrow.

We plan on fasting tomorrow and "kiting" the credit card on Thursday and Friday. I should have money on Saturday and it seems to take about 3 days for charges to clear. So far, this method has not yet burned me on overdraft charges or anything.

But I find it insanely stressful to do that. I hope this is the last time we do this. With my student loan paid off and other positive factors, I hope this is the last month that is so crazy stressful like this.

On the upside, this month was less stressful than the previous two months. Those two months were just heart attack levels of Oh. My. God. How in the hell are we going to eat for the rest of the month????!!!!

I am tired and fever…

Slow Mode

I am not actually seeing anything on Austin Coppock listed for today's date. But, wow, the internet is really slow today and I am having a lot of trouble getting anything accomplished at all.

Well, Austin Coppock does say this: The last week of the June holds a potentially difficult set of configurations. Mercury and Mars conjoin in Cancer, opposite Pluto in Capricorn. Technically, that would start tomorrow. But, what the hell, let's be generous and assume this is the reason my day is going so poorly.

Money looks grim. I don't know how I will eat tomorrow or for half or more of next week. My attempts to do research and find some quick housing answer so I can get off the street rapidly are hitting a wall. Nothing good is happening today. It sucks.

Paid work is not happening and I hate my fucking life. I just hate it.

The Sun and Mercury Enter Cancer

From Austin Coppock: Mercury enters Cancer only hours after the Sun (6/21 2:57 AM PST.) So, I guess they would both be conjunct my Venus today. Hmmmm. Weird.

I don't really know what to make of that. I am just trying to inject a little more astrology into this site, to go with all the bitching I do here.

So, we randomly have a few "extra" bucks today. My first thought was "Yay! Food security through Friday! Then I get my paycheck Saturday!"

Sadly, no, this is not how it will go. I desperately need a change of clothes and other REASONS, some portion of that money has already been blown on non-food items.

As my son noted, I am getting half my wish. I keep saying I desperately want a shower and a change of clothes. No shower, but I got a change of clothes.

Past experience suggests this will likely make me feel somewhat less like I desperately need a shower, at least for a bit. But it is horribly hot right now and, ugh, I smell and everything. I am home…

Uranus is a Butt

It is the actual day of those surprise Uranian influences. Here is my day so far:

Because of someone saying something nice about me on a forum and someone then posting a link to my Patreon in reply to that, I have 5 new patrons in the last 24 hours. Cool.

This makes me realize I actually have $2.85 accumulated in my Patreon account due to the sole $1 pledge I have had for the previous three months. But I never set up a way to get my money because it was only a dollar.

So, I go to set that up and the public computers at the library don't play well with Patreon. In a nutshell, I try on several public computers before finally doing this on the laptop. But now there is a 5 day hold on my Patreon account because I updated my payment info and I can't request my money until June 25th.

So, then we go do snacks and drinks and I have my son spritz me with peroxide because I think I have been exposed to second hand marijuana from moving around to different computers trying to find…

Well, Tomorrow Needs to be REALLY Good. Geez.

Tomorrow is the 20th. The Uranian surprise factor for that date that I wrote of yesterday needs to be very nice because I am failing to get much work done today.

My arms are covered in multiple bug bites, and I am running quite the fever. The bug bites are likely a contributing factor to the raging fever. Some of them are a sort I have had before and also ran a terrible fever then. There seems to be some practically microscopic grey bug that leaves horrible pustules when they bite me and these linger for days.

So, while I have done some paid work, it is not anywhere near as much as I had hoped to do today. Today is the last day I can do work and feel somewhat confident that it will pay out this week instead of next. Thus, failing to do much work is frustrating the hell out of me. I came here to bitch in hopes that it is more constructive than my other options seem to be.

I feel gross. The weather is hotter than hell and I want a shower and change of clothes. I hate this shit…

Surprise, Surprise

According to Austin Coppock:
Shortly after the Sun and Mercury’s respective oppositions with Saturn, the pair both go on to sextile lively Uranus, offering a modicum of energy and insight. The Sun is first, lacing a bit of Uranian lightning into the Solar fire on the 18th (6/18 11:46 AM), with Mercury sextiling Uranus shortly thereafter (6/20 2:30 AM).
Uranus is the planet of surprises. You can expect the unexpected when Uranus gets involved.

I tend to hate surprises. From what I gather, handicapped people tend to not like surprises. When your ability to cope with sudden, unexpected change is impaired, it tends to feel very threatening and problematic.

But I have had a small pleasant surprise today: I managed to do a little more paid work than I expected.

This doesn't save my ass, but it does help reduce the amount of stress I am facing and it makes me hopeful that things will somehow work out. So, I am hoping that the planet of surprise brings me more unexpected good news th…

Mercury Opposes Saturn (Tomorrow)

According to Austin Coppock: Lagging behind the Sun, Mercury opposes Saturn a few days later (6/18 12:06 PM PST). So, you can probably loosely interpret that to mean 'bad news coming to light' and transits typically are considered to be something like plus or minus three days. So let's say that includes today.

I have just learned we have blown through more money than I thought we had. I am not sure how we are going to make it through this coming week and then there are at least 8 more days after that before I get alimony again. I am pretty upset about it. But I am also feverish and not clear-minded.

I might be okay this week if certain monies due me show up in a timely fashion. But that still means I need to somehow cover expenses for the week after that.

I spent a few minutes feeling like "Shit! Why do I bother? Why don't I go throw myself into the still swollen river? Fuck."

But we did snacks and drinks to try get my fever down and I had a little …

Neptune Retrogrades on the 16th

According to Austin Coppock: While Mercury and the Sun oppose Saturn, Neptune drifts into reverse (6/16 4:10 AM). The distant blue planet’s annual retrograde phase begins at 14’ Pisces... I am so freaking tired and this has been the weirdest freaking couple of days. I have been doing some work and...a reporter emailed me with a question. I replied fairly promptly, in under 20 minutes iirc, and I have not heard back. I was interviewed twice by different reporters for reasons related to this inquiry and neither interview seems to have ever been published or resulted in any kind of media attention for my work.

It would be nice if I could get media attention and maybe have something go viral. I would love to have money flood in all of a sudden. Enough of a sudden influx of money due to my work would give me just about everything I want in life -- other than a boyfriend, I guess, and that would probably be a trivially easily solved problem if I were well and off the street.

I have n…

Last Night and This Morning

So here is an update on stuff that went down yesterday evening around the time of the square.

After feeling physically terrible all day, by evening I was suicidal. I had my sons walk me most of the way to Panda Express. After eating there, I felt vastly better. I also grabbed a mocha frap from Starbuck's.

So, I felt that was some positive effect from the square. But it didn't fully resolve without some minor stress.

I had intestinal drama at the Panda Express, some asshole who thinks they own the dead end road they were apparently lost on was taking their frustration out on me by honking at me for walking where LOTS of people walk but bozo apparently doesn't know this because he/she is lost (I cussed at them for the first honk and flicked them off for the second -- years of homelessness has not improved my manners one bit, I tell you), and then I nearly stepped on a snake on my way home. I have not previously seen a snake in this area.

According to Austin Coppock

It is actually June 13th. Ugh.

So the trine was not the happy fun times I had hoped for. I went and got a pay day loan because I was even more broke than I thought. I didn't even have enough money to cover lunch.

On the upside, it made it convenient to go to the McDonald's. That allowed me to get two apple pies, which helped reduce my pain.

No, I won't explain further. Sheesh. I have an entire separate blog for that.

My point is just the need for a pay day loan had a silver lining. That's all.

I am hoping the square later today treats me better than the trine. I still feel awful and ...ugh. Just, Ugh.

Trying to be Hopeful About June 13th

According to Austin Coppock:
Mercury makes an odd pair of aspects on the 13th. The first of these is a very pleasant trine with newly-direct Jupiter in Libra (6/13 8:44 AM PST), which by itself would augur happy thoughts, glad tidings and lofty perspectives. Yet nearly simultaneously, the messenger makes a square to Neptune in Pisces (6/13 8:28 PM), confusing facts and fictions, data and dreams. This blend of the optimistic and the imaginative which Jupiter and Neptune offer are activated not only by Mercury on the 13th, but also by the Moon at several other points during the month.
I am on track to need a pay day loan tomorrow, which is June 13th. I am not happy about it, though I am glad I managed to get this far without needing one. I thought I would need one last week, which would have been really terrible.

I am not doing enough work. I am incredibly tired.

I am so fucking tired of the financial piece of my life being so goddamn frustrating.

So, Mercury is a big influence in…

Attempting to Return to the Grind

I am not seeing anything on Austin Coppock for today June 5th. My oldest son and I got our IDs renewed today. Now we get to wait for them to arrive in the mail. It took about three hours of our time.

For essentially the first time in years, the little details were just little details. I didn't think beforehand that they might not take a credit card, yet I still had enough funds to cover the expense another way. I didn't think beforehand that I would need my son's social security number. I was able to return to the hotel room while my son kept our place, get the number and go back in order to finish the paperwork.

I actually failed to completely fill out the paperwork and I found one blank after I got back, my son found another oversight and the guy at the DMV found yet more blanks. It ended up not being a serious problem.

We really blew through more money than I expected to. I am nearly broke and may need a pay day loan as early as Wednesday, but now that renewing o…

June 4th

So, according to Austin Coppock, Mars entered Cancer today. I don't know what the fuck to think.

I am in a hotel tonight and tomorrow. I have showered and I have clean clothes. We all three got cheap haircuts today, but I am blowing through more money than I thought we would. Tomorrow, me and my oldest son will arrange to renew our ID -- and just in time, because both of our IDs expire this week. Sigh.

Then, I guess we return to our usual grind of scrambling to figure out how to survive the month. I am so fucking tired of this shit.

We are in the dive hotel, a different room than we have been in before. The faucet is damaged, but it has a better TV than usual. This is good because the tablet cannot get online. This is perhaps for the best. It means there is zero means for me publish the poison pen piece I wrote yesterday. Perhaps I will edit it or perhaps I will stop feeling it by the time I get back online.

I had hoped to work today and tomorrow, but this seems unlikely w…

June Second

Astrology Zone said something about the 2nd and 3rd of June being awesome. The third is supposed to be better than the second.I have money today. I made a reservation for a hotel for Sunday night. I will soon get the shower and change of clothes I so desperately want. But it will involve blowing through some dough. It isn't like I have won the lottery or something. I am sort of disappointed with today. I did get my alimony, which I was concerned would not hit until Monday. But it wasn't for more money like I thought it would be. I emailed the ex to find out what's up with that.Supposedly, this month is the last payment on my student loan. My alimony gets basically garnished or that. It gets paid before I see a dime. So, with a partial final payment due this month, that should involve the direct deposit to my account going up.Anyway, yes, some good things happened today. But it wasn't anywhere near as wonderful as I was hoping.I am kind of crabby about that.

Venus Trine Saturn

From Austin Coppock: Just before conjoining Uranus, Venus nearly trines Saturn (6/1 8:22 AM PST) and reactivates the trine between the two, which colored much of May’s astrology. Saturn gets maligned far too much. It is a responsible, hard working planet. I am so glad for this involvement today. Today is a good day, so far.

I have the money that was promised to me. It was in my Pay Pal account when I logged in this morning. The person who promised it to me repeatedly wrote me to say it was still showing as a pending transaction on their end. Because of their incredibly considerate behavior, I did go ahead and get food yesterday.

I did try to graciously thank them this morning. It didn't feel to me like it was really gracious enough, but I didn't know how else to make it clear how much I appreciate not only their generosity, but also their consideration in keeping me updated. Had they not, I would not have felt confident that I was really going to get the money and I lik…